Whenever a man is around other groups of males it should be assumed that they do not respect him.  Foreign groups of males might not take kindly to him on their turf even if just passing through and have the possibility of becoming violently hostile.  It is of extreme importance that he quickly establish his boundaries.  Often this will mean the savage and unflinching eruption into aggression and violence.

This does not mean recklessness and thoughtlessness but focused and channeled aggression.

The possibility of someone taking advantage of you increases every day as our society becomes more cutthroat and divided.  If a male does not stand firm upon the earth where he stands then others will sense weakness and quickly come to shove him off that earth,

onto his knees

and begging for mercy.

how to respect

This will only encourage your aggressor to delight in your trembling and treat you like the piss weak bitch you deservedly are.

Back when I worked for this particular security company we had a lot of contracts at various rowdy and unsafe clubs.  One in particular I began working at when I was around 23, at times as armed and unarmed security.  I was one of a handful of fair skinned folk that were very easy to spot among this inner city hot spot.

Very quickly I noticed and perceived a palpable lack of respect by its patrons who saw me as a weak black dude.  I knew that they would never respect me for my vocabulary, my deep thoughts or the books I enjoyed the most.

The prevailing principle among them which they could only perceive and respect was the use of aggressive force.  In cultures like these many can get by with outward displays of machismo or braggadocio and successfully stifle the advances of intruders.  I have seen it many times but I learned years prior that such displays were simply the form of a fragile ruse destined to be shattered.

This was not long after I began training at an MMA gym, primarily in Muay Thai and BJJ.  While working at this nightclub I can recall the feelings I had of utter reliance on my own ability to establish myself as a dangerous man.

In a place like this with a job like mine I must command respect and that was obligatory not only to d0 the job but also to come away unscathed. 

But no one is going to give me respect.


As I have noted many times before.  Most young males today not growing up in areas of violence are trained to run away like a rabbit at the slightest indication of ANY sort of aggressive altercation. 

Hey stupid. Where's my backpack??

They are cartoonishly weak and pitifully passive.  At best they frantically call the “authorities” because they have no authority themselves and NO ONE respects them.

When the heart racing jolt of a stomach pumping adrenaline dump hits they cannot think nor can they act. 

They are frozen,

Like a deer caught in headlights they become the easy prey even of scavengers who see a walking carcass ready for the picking.

These cowards run from the very thing that will make them whole and complete.  The fight.  This happens inwardly first.


Only you can release the savage will and enforce the privilege and the right to occupy the ground you stand on.

If you do not exercise this ancient will then others will take everything you have, even your wayward soul.

Instilling Fear


Machiavelli said,

“Better to be feared than loved if you cannot be both”.

While love can have a differing meaning depending on who you ask.  One thing is certain, most every male and EVERY female will explain it you like it is some kind of feeling.  Thus it comes from the wild and unpredictable whims of a person’s emotions.

It comes from within.

Fear on the other hand comes from without.  It is based on the instinctual drive of threat and consequences.  Therefore fear is more powerful in of itself.

Those who love you may or may not do what you wish.

Those who fear you will do anything you say.

No one respects a man they do not fear in some way.

In many environments and in more places than ever your life may depend on the ability to cause fear among potential threats.

Now back at this club, I had been working there a few weeks and no one had really tested me yet.  I was in a few minor scuffles and I saw the defiant looks and heard the running mouths of many hostile young males whom I had very little if anything in common with. 

I was the outsider and I was seen as just another weak bitch.

I began to think on this and soon it had me boiling with anger. 

They did not know me or know what I was capable of. 

They did not respect or fear me as they should.


I resolved myself to accept the realization that the very first one who tests me or physically threatens me must be ruthlessly put down.

Every weekend night this place was wall to wall with people of very questionable character.  The hip hop music was loud and pulsating.  This particular place went nuts over the hard gangster rap and deep tribal beats.

At times the crowd seemed to meld into the single expression of an impulsive and aggressive animus that often splintered into chaotic and destructive violence.

In places like these there was always a sense of tension in the air and within myself.  Often it can be very stressful for someone to deal with this kind of situation, especially with the ear splitting noises and the constant confusion of flickering lights. 

After some time it will solidify you with heightened senses and nerves of steel.

On one particular night I was assigned to roam between the two main dance floors separated by a walkway.  I was roaming back and forth sometimes going to the other sides of each dance floor.  The night was almost over and thankfully no major problems.  I remember striding through the walkway to the biggest dance floor and right before me a massive fight was about break out.  Another security officer was attempting to throw two males out for causing various problems.

bout to go down
bout to go down


A small group formed around them and they grew louder and more defiant.  The security guard trying to get them out was the head of security and was also a very large man who was a power lifter.  He tried asking the ruffians to leave and they sensed weakness.

This only emboldened them.

They began hurling insults and threats at him.  Calling him a bitch and a pussy. 

Taunting him to do something.

I clearly remember thinking he had better make a bold move and do it NOW or things were going to get a lot worse.  This whole time I was standing at the side not saying a thing just observing and waiting.  The tension was electric and I could just feel something about to go down.

In a blinding flash I saw a bottle fly towards the head of security coming from the edge of the riotous crowd. 

I sprung at the assailant like a creeping tiger with glaring fangs leaping from the shadows.  Running up I instantly hammered the attacker with a right cross cleanly connecting with home run like impact into his jaw.

He keeled over very hurt but was not yet on the ground.

That meant he was still a threat.

Immediately I measured with my left hand holding it at his lowered face to get the full extension of my power.  Dropping my weight down  I rocketed another right hand out smashing into the side of his face with crushing decisiveness.  He clumped over like a sack of potatoes to my pleasing satisfaction.

If there are any two punches you could ever learn they should be the 1,2 or the jab,cross.  Most altercations in the street are wild punches thrown with little form.  Swift straight punches right down the pipe will always get there first.

After this incident no one ever tested me or spoke rudely to me again in that club.  Word spread that “black boy can fight“.  People listened when I said this or that.

After I dropped that guy, I knew it was over.  His super tough friends did nothing when I exploded out of nowhere blasting their boy.  They saw in frightening display the power of ferocious and immediate action.

punch face
You ain’t talkin no more. Are ya?

Most people find their courage in the mob.  Single them out and you will find that the obnoxious theatrics have nothing behind it when put to the test.  They will deliciously crumble when exposed to the searing heat of a man who DEMANDS your fucking respect.

Also in group situations like that, there is usually a main aggressor whom the other weaker males attach their confidence to.  Dropping the loudest most aggressive one first is the best choice.

Just remember the over use of force will not cause fear or respect but a desire for vengeance.

Never forget this, when working in these environments do not ever overstep your bounds because wanton displays of cruelty or violence will get you shot or stabbed by someone who has much less to lose than you. 

Case in point, right after I dropped the guy we had another security guard that sometimes worked for us and he himself was quite ratchet.  The attacker was no longer a threat and it was over.  Still he maliciously runs over with a huge mag light flashlight and beats this dude over the head several times while the guy is laid out on his back.

I remember thinking “Holy shit that was excessive”.

While the original assailant was carried out by his boys they were threatening to come back and shoot him.

About a month after I was assigned to a different spot that same security guard was filled with buckshot while opening the back door at the club one night.

He died.

So keep your wits about you and your emotions in check. 

As I stated in another post on cultivating unlimited power.

Use your emotions.

Don’t let your emotions use you.

That is the path to instilling fear, gaining respect and achieving mastery.

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